| Title | Beezer's Cellar |
| Message Text | Ernest Chappell: Quiet Please… Quiet Please (Theme in) Announcer: The Mutual Broadcast system presents Quiet Please, which is written and directed by Wyllis Cooper and which features Ernest Chappell. Quiet Please for tonight is called "Beezer's Cellar" (Theme out) STANLEY: I looked at Marlana, Marlana looked at me when we heard this old guy talkin about Beezer's cellar. "Get a load of this Marlana." I said, and she picked up a french fry, and ate it very quiet while we listened to the old guy. He was sounding off to another old guy, and the other old guy couldn't get a word in edgeways OLD MAN: ... so this here Beezer, they called him 6 fingered Beezer, you see, on account of he had 6 fingers on each hand. He never did build his house. He got the cellar dug, an then he up an hung himself in it. Well, I don't know why rightly, but there was some talk about the cellar being dug into accursed ground. Well I wanna tell you there's been mighty odd doin's up there by george, up at Beezer's cellar. What? Well, Fires! And lights at night. And don't you tell me fox-fire. I've seen fox -fire and I know it when I see it! And this here ain't fox-fire! Hmmm? 60 odd years ago. An moans , an hootin , an hollerin all over the place at night. An trees movin their branches when there ain't no wind. No , sir, that's a real deserted place. You couldn't get me up there with a ten foot pole. That there place is haunted sonny. I want another root beer, no sir, ghosts an spirits, an crawlin things that hoot an holler ain't in my line at all STANLEY: You gettin that, Marlana? OLD MAN:: Gosh, no. Ain't been up there since I was a kid in short pants. A click of us went up there one afternoon in the fall, and we thought we seen a skeleton layin down there on the floor of the cellar and we cut an run. Never stopped till we got to the C&A tracks. Yes sir, sonny, thank you for the root beer, that there's a place to shun! And by golly people shun it! Well, it's right out past the cemetery. Where you turn off to Strickfaden Road. But it would take quiet a lot of finding. Bout 3 mile east. There's a big el-m tree that was struck by lightning... (old man still talking trails, off as STANLEY INTERRUPTS) STANLEY: C'mon Marlana I said. We sorta, drifted out a the place. The car was parked up under a big tree by the side of the road. Pete was sittin there with a p-38 pistol he brought back from the war, with his feet on the suitcase with the $82,000. We stopped to count it on the side street in Wilmington on the way down from Chicago. We watched the state cops go on past us down 66. Then we switched the licence plates, and jogged down after them. Pete wasn't takin any chances, he had the snoot of that p-38 in our faces the minute we walked up. PETE: You oughta make some kinda noise or something. Mighta let you have it . STANLEY: Put the gun away for a minute and move over. (car door opens and closes) Get in Marlana. PETE: You bring me a sandwich? MARLANA: Barbequed pork alright? (Marlana speaks with a heavy Russian accent) PETE: I could eat it raw! What's cookin? MARLANA: Stanley's got an idea. PETE: What now? MARLANA: You scared of ghosts, Pete? PETE: I ain't scared of anything! STANLEY: Well that's good! |
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| Submission Date | Jul 07, 2002 |