15 characters: Maradona, Ambassador Five, Mayor, Announcer, Therapist, Larissa, Stone, Ahmadi, Marissa, Peters, Patel, Hu, Centaurian Computer, Sanders, Crowd
Click on a character's name to get their lines highlighted.
Maradona (36 lines, 828 words, 26.24%) - [Matt Ellis] Jesús Maradona is now styling himself the leader of an uprising against an unjust government.
Larissa (27 lines, 342 words, 10.84%) - [Lindsay Townsend] Larissa Flint. Younger sister of Marissa. Wants more independence and feels a bit resentful. Apprentice mechanic. Young (18), eager, optimistic and inexperienced. Academically-gifted quick learner.
Ahmadi (24 lines, 307 words, 9.73%) - [Paul Knierim] Former detective Arash Ahmadi is a bit broken and angry at the moment.
Peters (17 lines, 230 words, 7.29%) - [David Loftus] Salish Peters, chief mechanic. Great-grandfather was the first mission commander, and he never tires of telling people so and relating the stories of Earth he remembers hearing from great-grandpa. Sensible, direct, kind of average working Joe. Middle aged, has husband and two grown kids.
Therapist (13 lines, 293 words, 9.29%) - [Ahmad Joudeh] Dr. Peters is the asteroid's only licensed therapist, which keeps him pretty busy. He's also the husband of Chief Mech Salish Peters, with whom he has two adopted children.
Ambassador Five (12 lines, 316 words, 10.02%) - [espeak] Ambassador Five is a Centaurian. They communicate non-verbally, so in order to be understood by humans they wear machine translators.
Mayor (11 lines, 268 words, 8.49%) - [Lec Zorn] The leader of the asteroid, as yet unnamed as everyone just calls him mayor because he's been mayor so long and will continue in the role as long as he wants. Tends to be impatient and sarcastic with underlings but can turn on the charm and make a good speech when needed. In his 60s but not thinking about retirement.
Stone (6 lines, 197 words, 6.24%) - [John Gaunce] Doctor Stone. Willing to do whatever it takes to save patients, even if it goes against the laws or morals of society. Is frustrated by societal resistance to experimentation and progress, thinks Earth-sourced ethics need to be updated for life in interstellar space. Just a touch of mad scientist, but really means well and the audience will be torn on whether to approve of the methods.
Marissa (6 lines, 76 words, 2.41%) - [Virginia Hargrove] Marissa Flint. 26 years old, older sister of Larissa. Overprotective toward Larissa but means well. Essentially raised Larissa since mother died and father was often absent. Can be a bit antagonistic when she takes a dislike to someone.
Centaurian Computer (3 lines, 22 words, 0.7%) - [Virginia Hargrove] The automated computer system for the Centaurians.
Patel (2 lines, 15 words, 0.48%) - [David Feldmann] Returnist foot soldier.
Hu (1 line, 18 words, 0.57%) - [Steph X] Communications chief Hu Jia.
Sanders (1 line, 3 words, 0.1%) - [Erin Suminsby] Returnist foot solider.
Announcer (2 lines, 181 words, 5.74%) - [Erin Suminsby] Reads opening, closing and credits.
Crowd (7 lines, 59 words, 1.87%) - Gets mixed into crowd effects in various spots.
Script format: Margined | Marginless (for phone viewing)
Listen along as you read:
1 SOUND: arboretum, milling crowd with sound of expectancy
2
Maradona:
[sfx: amplifier?] I'm glad so many of you were able to make it here on such short notice, and I trust you'll tell those who couldn't make it about what you see. I have something very important to show you.
Because of our mayor’s growing hostility toward returnists, I had a holorecorder planted in his office.
3 SOUND: crowd mutters with surprise and some disagreement
4 Maradona: Don’t judge me for that yet. You’re about to see why it was the right decision. This was recorded yesterday.
5 SOUND: the hologram effect from spit ep 1
6 Ambassador Five: For what purpose have you summoned me again, mayor?
7 Mayor: Ambassador, you've been *lying* to us.
8 Ambassador Five: About what, mayor?
9 Mayor: The whole mission. Where we're going.
10 Ambassador Five: I see.
11 Mayor: [with emotion] Ambassador, this is a powder keg we're sitting on! All those people out there, they've spent their whole lives in service of this mission and they know many more generations of their families will have to do the same. What do you think will happen if they find out the mission is based on a *lie* you told us?
12 Ambassador Five: An omission of unimportant detail.
13 Mayor: [angry] I don't see it that way, and *they* sure as hell won't! Heck, I guess we shouldn’t even be calling you Centaruians?
14 Ambassador Five: I resided on Proxima station for several years, so I think I have as much right to call myself a Centaurian as anyone. But no, I suppose strictly speaking our species name should translate for you to a derivative of your name for our true home system.
15 Mayor: So what are you?
16 Ambassador Five: Do you really think I’m likely to fall for that?
17
Mayor:
Can’t blame me for trying.
So, explain yourself. Explain the purpose of this deception.
18 Ambassador Five: Mayor, the universe can be a dangerous place. When I was young – and with all this hibernation travel I do that was quite a few centuries ago – but when I was young, this planet where we now have our Proxima station was home to a civilization whose transmissions we picked up. This was a highly advanced civilization, far more advanced than our own, we found evidence of extensive terraforming and a strong artificial magnetic field to protect against Proxima Centauri’s flares.
19 Mayor: Our scientists have never understood how your planet stayed habitable orbiting a flare star.
20 Ambassador Five: Their planet. But by the time our first expedition arrived, this civilization – comprised of colonists from some other system we suppose – had been obliterated by an asteroid impact. We calculated it was a very small asteroid traveling more than half the speed of light. This is an unthinkable scenario in the natural universe, so we believe it was an intentional strike. We transmit from there because a place that has already been revealed and destroyed suffers no further risk.
21 Mayor: The dark forest?
22 Ambassador Five: I don't understand.
23 Mayor: Before first contact, we had a problem we called Fermi's paradox: the question of why no other civilization in all the galaxy had made contact with us yet. One proposed answer was that our galaxy is like a dark forest filled with hunters, where each civilization is trying to avoid detection by any other for fear of immediate destruction by relativisitic projectiles like the asteroid you've described. And when a civilization learns of another, it wipes them out to maintain security.
24 Ambassador Five: Yes. This may be the situation. We're not sure, but we don't wish to risk billions of lives until we're sure.
25 SOUND: mayor shifts, maybe hits desk lightly
26 Mayor: [exasperated] *Why* didn’t you *warn* us?
27 Ambassador Five: It’s too late for Earth. Your transmissions continue outward at the speed of light, you can’t stop them. We don’t know how long your planet has, we aren't sure you'll be targeted at all, so we saw no advantage to seeding panic and potentially causing you to withdraw from us.
28 Mayor: Then you’ll understand why it’s critical that we keep all this under wraps. If the rest of our people learned *any* of what we’ve been discussing -- learned that our destination isn’t your home planet or that Earth might be in danger -- it could spark *chaos*.
29 Ambassador Five: Agreed.
30 SOUND: end hologram, use effect from spit ep 1
31 SOUND: crowd chatters with anxious excitement
32
Maradona:
[shouting over crowd] For too long, we’ve allowed all our decisions to be made by this duplicitous mayor who plots our fate behind our backs! For too long, we’ve allowed aliens to trick us into wasting our whole lives!
No more! It’s time for THE PEOPLE to RISE UP and seize our own destiny! It's time to head back to Earth, on a *new* mission to *save* our home planet!
33 SOUND: crowd claps and cheers
34 SOUND: opening theme
35
Announcer:
QuietPlease dot org presents “253 Mathilde”.
At the turn of the 22nd century, the asteroid 253 Mathilde was converted into an interstellar spaceship. Now 92 years into a 780 year mission, generations have come and gone.
Episode five - Unhappy Returns.
36 SOUND: therapy room, probably with fish tank or clock or other calming sounds
37 Therapist: These feelings of alienation from yourself… I believe it's what we call depersonalization disorder. It's a feeling of detachment from your own mental processes. It's not unusual.
38 Larissa: The *way* I came to *have* these feelings is certainly unusual.
39 Therapist: Granted. But we may still be able to treat it in the usual way.
40 Larissa: And how's that?
41 Therapist: Sometimes cognitive behavioral therapy, but in your case I recommend psychodynamic therapy.
42 Larissa: How does that work?
43 Therapist: I'll attempt to facilitate your achieving a deeper understanding of your mental processes, which should help you gain more insight into why you're experiencing these feelings. But we'll take that up next session. Right now, I want to hear how you've been doing *socially* since the accident.
44 Larissa: I've been feeling really disconnected there too. Marissa and I have been arguing more. My father hasn't checked in at all and I don't think he cared if I survived or not, and I'm kinda pissed about that.
45 Therapist: Maybe the two disconnections are related. Do you feel like nobody cares about what you're going through?
46 Larissa: Well, our former detective cares, but his interest just feels creepy so I wish he *didn't* care. And Marissa cares, but in a domineering way. Everybody either cares too much or not at all, nobody does it right.
47 Therapist: That's interesting.
48 Larissa: And I feel so lost. Like everything I took for granted my whole life was a facade, and now the walls have crumbled and I don't know what to do. None of it *means* anything.
49 Therapist: It’s normal to experience a loss of innocence at your age: a revelation that life isn’t what you thought it was and your dreams were just dreams. Sometimes it can be very sudden, triggered by something like your trauma.
50 Larissa: [annoyed] So you’re saying my problem is I’m young and I’ll grow out of it?
51 Therapist: No, I’m just trying to relate your experiences into a common frame of reference to show you that it’s possible to get through it.
52 Larissa: There’s nothing *common* about my experiences. I’m literally the only person this has ever happened to in all history! My brain actually contains the tissues of two different people, my twin sister and myself!
53 Therapist: And that’s why it could be helpful to reinterpret through the lens of more common experiences. We're at the end of our hour now, though.
54 Larissa: So what do you think? Am I well enough to resume my duties?
55 Therapist: I’ll clear you to return to work, but not because I think you’re well. I worry keeping you isolated could make things much worse. Maybe getting back into the swing of things and feeling useful will help you overcome these thoughts.
56 SOUND: transition
57 SOUND: medical center background
58 SOUND: door opens, footsteps enter
59 Stone: What can I do for you, Jesús? Are you feeling ill?
60 Maradona: I'm fine, doctor. Actually I wanted to talk to you about something else.
61 Stone: What's that?
62 Maradona: Have you heard about the mayor's deception, how we're not actually heading to the Centaurian homeworld?
63 Stone: Word has reached me, yes. Nothing really surprises me from this mayor, but it's a new low.
64 Maradona: Some of us are organizing to do something about the problem. We'd like you with us.
65 Stone: Can't say I'm really a returnist, I couldn't care less about Earth, but there also doesn't seem much point continuing a mission that's based on lies. What I *do* know is that we need new leadership, leadership that'll be more open-minded.
66 Maradona: You side with us, and I can promise you full support for your research and experiments. Every avenue of study the mayor has nixed over the years, you can start back up.
67 Stone: That's very encouraging to hear. I'll send you my proposed revisions to the medical ethics law.
68
Maradona:
I'll make your proposals a priority as soon as I have the power to do so.
Doctor, if you had just a small team of poorly-armed people to go up against the mayor with, what do you think would be the most vital asset to realistically seize?
69 Stone: You know, I don't think you'd need much to bring change around here. If you had one of the Centaurians as a hostage, the mayor wouldn't dare move against you and the rest of the Centaurians wouldn't dare move against you. And you could take one who's in a hibernetic suspension pod, helpless to resist you. Then you'd have a pod too, and I'd die to get a close up look at that technology, really take one apart. Maybe I could make it work for humans, help you get back to Earth in your lifetime without relying on that magic new propellant long-shot Peters has been going on about.
70 Maradona: And we could teach those Centaurians that there's consequences for taking us on an eight century wild goose chase. I think you've got something there, Doctor. I'll sketch out a plan.
71 SOUND: transition that indicates long time passing and work being done
72 SOUND: think up a room soundscape for a secret meeting. maybe just the arboretum.
73 Ahmadi: It's not a bad plan, if those improvised explosives work.
74 Maradona: They work. We tested in the mines, easy to pass them off as normal blasting there.
75 Ahmadi: Well then, I'm with you.
76 Maradona: I’m taking a risk by trusting you, Ahmadi. But ex-law-enforcement is the closest thing we've got to tactical experience here.
77 Ahmadi: You know I’ve got no love for the mayor. To tell you the truth, I don't care if we go to Earth or Proxima or nowhere -- I just think we need new leadership and new ideas to replace this stale system of government, and you're the only option for that right now.
78 Maradona: Good enough for me, for now. I think the Ambassador -- the one who's awake -- is our remaining obstacle. I'd rather not kill him, that could complicate our position. But we'll never overpower him, I heard they're three times as strong as people, and I don't think stun guns would work on them. We've got to get him out of the way somehow.
79 Ahmadi: I've got an idea for that. I'm going to try to arrange a fake summons from the mayor to lure the Ambassador away. Should give us five or ten minutes.
80 Maradona: Should be enough if we have the timing down. How are you gonna pull it off?
81 Ahmadi: I've got someone with connections who owes me a favor.
82 SOUND: transition
83 Marissa: You shouldn’t be going back to work yet.
84 Larissa: I want to. It’s *boring* not having anything to do!
85 Marissa: There’s lots of housework you could be doing...
86 Larissa: You know what I mean. Something meaningful.
87 Marissa: [abruptly] You should change your apprenticeship.
88 Larissa: What??
89 Marissa: Why not join us in communications? We haven't had an apprentice since Sanders transfered.
90 Larissa: Why???
91 Marissa: You don’t really want to keep working for Peters, do you? The guy almost got you killed! Next time he’ll succeed!
92 Larissa: For the last time, sis: it was my fault, he warned me not to touch anything until he said to.
93 SOUND: Larissa starts to walk away, door opens
94 Marissa: [calling after, upset] Fine, I’ll see if I can get a discount on your funeral by reserving ahead!
95 SOUND: door closes, then subtle transition
96 SOUND: that reactor/engine room background i found
97 SOUND: door opens
98 Peters: Flint! I wasn’t expecting to see you hopping around already!
99 Larissa: I’m ready to work. Anything that only requires one good leg.
100 Peters: You can help me design this print job. A part for the reactor.
101 Larissa: Sure.
102 SOUND: touchscreen noises continue behind conversation
103 Larissa: You ever wonder who you are, boss?
104 Peters: How do you mean?
105 Larissa: Like, your purpose.
106
Peters:
My family and my work are my purpose.
See if you can fix the inner radius to get within point zero two tolerance in the simulation. I just don’t seem to be on top of my game today.
107 Larissa: But if you were of two minds about something…
108 Peters: I’d try to keep my options open as long as I could. Unfortunately people tend to make that difficult, I hate being pushed into irrevocable decisions I'm not ready for.
109 Larissa: There, that looks good.
110 Peters: Okay, let’s print a quick test article.
111 SOUND: 3d printer
112 SOUND: door enters, ahmadi walks in
113 Peters: Hm, looks okay at first glance.
114 Ahmadi: [sfx: fade in] Glad to see you're up and about, Larissa.
115 Peters: Be careful, Ahmadi. Don't touch anything, and keep back from the railing.
116 Larissa: [disinterestly] Hello detective.
117 Ahmadi: I'm not a detective anymore, you're going to have to start using my name.
118 Larissa: What can we do for you, Ahmadi?
119 Ahmadi: I meant my first name.
120 Larissa: Look, I don't want to lead you on.
121 Ahmadi: Fine, I get it. But could you do me a favor?
122 Larissa: What *kind* of favor?
123 Ahmadi: I'm playing a little practical joke on a friend, and to make it work I need a message transmitted from communications at just the right moment.
124 Larissa: I didn't know you had friends or a sense of humor, detective.
125 Ahmadi: There's a lot you don't know about me.
126 Larissa: And this seems like something for my sister, she works in communications.
127 Ahmadi: She has a rather strong dislike for me at the moment, so I can't ask her.
128 Peters: Hah, I know all about landing on Marissa's shit list.
129 Ahmadi: But, Larissa, as her sister you could visit her there and slip my data cube into the queue, it has the message and timing encoded on it. Will you do it?
130 Larissa: I suppose I owe you that much for saving my life. Sure, I'll do it. If Marissa gets in trouble for it that'll be a bonus.
131 SOUND: transition, many hours pass
132 SOUND: door buzzer, door opens
133 Maradona: [mildly surprised] Oh, you must be Salish's husband?
134 Therapist: I'm Doctor Peters, yes. I remember you from your psych eval but I can’t place your name?
135 Maradona: Jesús Maradona. Is Salish home?
136 Therapist: [calling out] Salish, it’s for you!
137 SOUND: footsteps approach
138 Peters: [sfx: fade in] [mildly annoyed at at the interruption] What brings you here, Jesús?
139 Maradona: Can we speak privately for a few minutes?
140 Therapist: [mildly annoyed] Fine, I’ll go see what the kids are up to at the rec center.
141 SOUND: footsteps exit, door closes and footsteps enter
142 Peters: So what’s this about?
143 Maradona: You know you're something of a hero now, Salish?
144 Peters: To who?
145 Maradona: Returnists. You've raised the possibility that we might be able to get home in our own lifetimes.
146 Peters: I guess I did. I can't promise that'll work out, and I don't decide where we go if it does.
147 Maradona: Can we count on you, Salish? It’s time to make a choice, you're either with me or you're with the mayor.
148 Peters: [pensively] I’m not one to rock the boat.
149 Maradona: Your boat is heading full speed for an iceberg, and your captain has been lying about it. The only question is if you’re willing to help change our course.
150 Peters: I’m not a soldier.
151 Maradona: But you *do* know how to make explosives, it’s not very different from rocketry. Do you think you could make that powerful new ore you discovered into a controllable explosive charge? It could be so much better than what anyone else can cobble togeather.
152 Peters: I won’t. That’s too far.
153 Maradona: If you were with us making advanced weapons, the mayor would see the writing on the wall and back down.
154 Peters: You’re talking preparations for war here, Jesús. I'd love to get home to Earth and I hope you can get us on course, but I have a family to protect, I’m not putting myself in the middle of a war.
155 Maradona: Fine, you want to be a fence sitter, you can try it for as long as you can. But when the time comes, remember who your friends are. And stay away from the arboretum tomorrow. Shouldn’t be telling you this, but I don’t want to see you get hurt.
156 SOUND: transition
157 SOUND: small crowd feeling anticipation. actually maybe only a couple voices whispering occasionally.
158 Maradona: Okay, we're all here. You've all been briefed. Hands up if you've got any last minute questions. Yes, Patel?
159 Patel: Couldn't you find a few more recruits?
160 Maradona: Everyone who knows the plan is another security risk, if the mayor or Detective Saetang learned what we're up to it would've been game over. Six is enough to get this job done, and we'll count on the rest of our supporters to help us from the outside once we're holed up in the arboretum. And Doctor Stone is waiting for us in the arboretum.
161 Patel: Could the Centaurian section have any automated defenses?
162 Ahmadi: I've been in there, Patel. I didn't notice any sign of defenses on the inside, I think they believe their door will suffice and they don't open it often.
163 Hu: [sfx: speaker] Ambassador Five, report to the mayor's office urgently! Repeat -- Ambassador Five, report to the mayor's office urgently!
164 Ahmadi: That's our cue.
165 Maradona: Form up, two columns, let's go liberate ourselves!
166 SOUND: group of six marching down corridor and coming to a stop
167 Centaurian Computer: State your request.
168 Ahmadi: We'd like to go inside, to, uh, perform repairs. We're a work crew.
169 Centaurian Computer: You do not have permission to enter. Please wait for Ambassador Five to return.
170 Maradona: [sarcastically] We'd rather not.
171 SOUND: small thuds of charges placed against door
172 Ahmadi: There, I've set the charges.
173 Centaurian Computer: Antisocial behavior detected, defenses activated.
174 Ahmadi: Take cover!
175 SOUND: explosive charges go off, metal door clatter
176 Maradona: Blew the door right off, good work Ahmadi!
177 SOUND: group moves in, as security alarm sounds outside
178 SOUND: laser fire from automatic turrets
179 Maradona: [yelling urgently] Cover!
180 SOUND: Patel grunts and falls as the laser fire continues
181 Ahmadi: [loudly over laser fire] Patel's hurt!
182 Maradona: [loudly over laser fire] No time to worry about that, we need to take out those automated laser turrets quick! Set another explosive and throw it!
183 Ahmadi: [loudly over laser fire] But Patel's right there...
184 Maradona: [loudly over laser fire] We can't get to him without losing more people, and he's probably dead already. Set the charge!
185 Ahmadi: [loudly over laser fire] I can't blow him up!
186 SOUND: maradona grabs explosive out of pack
187 Maradona: [loudly over laser fire, with a little contempt] Should've known you weren't up to this job, I'll do it myself.
188 SOUND: explosion, some stuff falling and settling including flesh, laser fire has ended
189 Maradona: Move, move!
190 SOUND: running sounds of 5 people
191 Sanders: In here, sir!
192 SOUND: the running people come to a stop
193 Ahmadi: Which one should we take?
194 Maradona: They're all the same, just hurry!
195 SOUND: sound of pulling out connections
196 Ahmadi: There, Ambassador One's pod is disconnected.
197 Maradona: Sanders, you help Ahmadi carry it.
198 Ahmadi: It only weighs five kilos.
199
Maradona:
Don't forget inertia, you could still lose control of it, we don't want our prize damaged. Besides, you look a bit unwell.
To the arboretum, everyone!
200 SOUND: end with rising action music
201 SOUND: closing music
202 Announcer: You've been listening to Two Fifty-Three Mathilde, episode five - Unhappy Returns. Created, written, produced and directed by Paul Knierim. Jesús Maradona is portrayed by Matt Ellis. Arash Ahmadi is Paul Knierim. Larissa Flint is Lindsay Townsend. Chief Mech Salish Peters is David Loftus. Doctor Peters is Ahmad Joudeh. Ambassador Five is espeak. The mayor is Roger Arnold. Doctor Stone is John Gaunce. Marissa Flint is Virginia Hargrove, who also plays the Centaurian computer. Patel was David Feldmann. Sanders is Erin Suminsby. Communications chief Hu Jia is Steph X. Emily Aichele and Paul Knierim were in the crowds. The announcer is Erin Suminsby. Sound effects and music courtesy free sound dot org and free p d dot com. Additional music by audionautix dot com. This program is licensed for free reuse and redistribution. Hear more episodes at quietplease dot org slash two fifty-three.
203 Crowd: Who do think you are, the Stasi?
204 Crowd: Spying on the mayor makes you as bad as he is.
205 Crowd: That's not who we are, we shouldn't be spying like that.
206 Crowd: Wow, they thought they could get away with that?
207 Crowd: Damn liars, we've got to get rid of this mayor!
208 Crowd: I never trusted those creepy aliens!
209 Crowd: We've got to warn Earth!